Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Extreme Couponing or as I like to call it Organized Hoarding

So my boss came into the office one day and could not stop waxing poetic about the TLC show, "Extreme Couponing". sidenote: quotations right? He said the amount these people save was unbelievable and worth a watch. So I did. And, well, yeesh. While these people are performing miracles at the check-out counter what exactly do they gain by stockpiling their houses with 150 years worth of men's deodorant or cat food for ghost cats, i.e cats they don't have. These people clearly do not want change. The absence of change and Charmin Ultra toilet paper with aloe vera because that particular gem never goes on sale. Admittedly there is a quantitative upside. While their asses might scream for moisture and some sympathy, at least for the next 750 years in perpetuity the Smith family's kin will enjoy the tingling sensation of abusively expired Ragu Homestyle Tomato Sauce.

Look, I can understand the thrill of the bargain. I am not adverse to buying on sale and I am the daughter of one, Carlos J. Kuri. I am also not a stranger to the idea of coupons. My mother is an avid coupon clipper with much success therefore I do concede couponing holds a monetary and somewhat gratifying purpose. However. And you know when I say however that we're climbing to the danger zone, right? Here's the reality. There is a difference between purchasing both needed and wanted items at peak bargaining moments and what these people do. This is not a revelation. What the Coupon Diva etc. do, in my honest and most humblest opinion, and yes, the correct opinion, is hoarding. Replace the make-shift garage grocery stores with discarded baby doll parts found at flea markets and I see no difference. Well, ok, one difference. The discarded baby doll aficionado probably eats out every night at the local Chucky Cheese to lure children into their lair but whatever. My point is Extreme Couponers are hoarders from the other side of the color prism and therefore not the type of people we should wish to succeed. If not for them than for the children. Anyone else worried about the children?!? Where are Child Protective Services going to be when little Mary-Sue screams out in agony over the toilet because of the originally priced 99 cent "manager's special Hilshire Farm deli meat bought for 27 cents with coupons? Who's going to tell her that the pain that's most aptly described as a nest of wasps in her hoo haa is because mommy worships at the alter of the Super Saver circular? Using hard earned cash to develop doomsday bunkers filled with razor blades and dried cranberries is not a way to live. And for those that believe there is nothing wrong with that, well, then, at least don't invite me to dinner.

It ain't right. I'm telling you kids, this is not a show to admire. This is a show that needs a PSA at the end of every episode, some sort of reminder to viewers that the views held by these people are not the views endorsed by the FDA, the CDC, the CAA, the CNN, the Declaration of Independence or anything else. That being said, yeah, it's totally entertaining.

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