Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year Devoted Readers!

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. In fact I believe this is the longest hiatus to date, and during a holiday no less. But never fear, I'm coming strong in the future (That's What She Said). But until then, loyal fans, have a Happy New Year. Enjoy the festivities, sing that random Auld Lang Syne song, and start making those resolutions that will be put onto paper tomorrow morning never to be remembered again.

Ciao friends till 2008.

More After the Jump!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Feliz Navidad

Wishing you and yours a splendid Christmas day. I hope everyone received fabulous presents. I know I did.

Peace in the Middle East

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Trivia Tuesday at The Harp

A friend of a friend introduced me to Trivia Tuesday at the bar, The Harp, and last night, my team, Nacho Winna, competed for the title of Trivia Tuesday Winner for the Week of Dec. 18th. We lost, but we were only 1 point behind the lead scorer for most of the competition. That is until the final round. Starting with question 27 we got spanked, and it wasn't enjoyable, not this time anyway. So for all those bored at work today I'm going to post some of the questions both easy and hard that I remember from Trivia Tuesday. You can post your answers in the comment section or email me. Get most of them right and you just might be recruited.

Questions after the jump

1. Who shot Mr. Burns in the special Simpson's episode?
2. Name the perfume that was developed and released in 1921?
3. Which country uses up the most nuclear energy?
4. George Harrison's song, "My Sweet Lord", supposedly plagerized what famous pop song?
5. Which movie broke Dec. box office records with its release this past weekend?
6. Name the location of the first little league championship game?
7. Two-Part Question: There is only one painting from an American painter in the Lourve. Name the actual title of the piece, and what it's most commonly referred to as
8. Two-Part Question: Name the only two presidents to have refused a salary during their tenure in the White House.
9. Who was Time Magazine's Person of the Century?
10. Before 1835 ballerina's used what type of shoes to dance in?
11. Name the California tourist attraction that has surpassed Disneyland as the most visited location in California?
12. What was significant of Ms. Margaret Hughes interpretation of Othello's Desdemona in England?
13. Why did Herbert Hoover frequently visit the Belgium embassy?
14. What was Warren G. Harden's middle name?
15. What crayon color gets used up first in a crayola box? (this color can be found in the 8 pack)
16. Which card carrying club boasts the highest membership in the US?
17. Which play did Aristotle deem the perfect tragedy?
18. Two-Part Question: Harold Courlander successfully won a lawsuit against a certain author for plageriarism of his book The African. Name the author and the book that plagerized The African.
19. 25% of mammals are what? (There are over 900 species of these)
20. Name the playwright who wrote Shakespeare in Love?
21. 5 part question: According to the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty (NNPT), which 5 countries are allowed to hold nuclear weapons?
22. The Treaty of Versailles of 1783 ended what war?
23. The number sequence of 9, 12, 5, 20 is used by what?
24. Sit and Smile is a brand of what?
25. What is the name of the full moon near the autumnal equinox?
26. The late comedy actor Jon Sandford is better known as?

Bonus Round (Christmas Edition)
1. American children receive presents from Santa Claus. British children receive presents from whom?
2. What did True Love give to his beloved on the 6th day of Christmas?
3. How many reindeer does Santa need to pull his sleigh (including Rudolf)
4. Nestor, the Christmas donkey has a large what?
5. In A Christmas Story what does Ralphie's super secret decoder ring tell him to drink?

Good luck!

More After the Jump!

The Spears Conspiracy

I refuse to believe this is all happenstance. Refuse. So this morning I turned on my computer, clicked the Safari icon on the bottom of my Mac (and spare me the Firefox is better mumbo-jumbo, I'm too indignant to argue right now), and up popped my home page,, (also spare me the WTF? People is your home page shpeal). Right there, the first headline I read for the day in bold letters says "Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, is Pregnant". Cue: Are you Effing kidding me!?!?! Words like flabbergasted, perturbed and annoyed pretty much cover the emotion I felt at that instant. Yeah, it's true that she's no sister or relative of mine, nor is she a celebrity I have ever talked about, thought about, or even remembered existed...well, unless there is a paparazzi shot of her at a Starbucks with her deranged older sister, who coincidentally at that moment was probably barefoot, in cut-offs, holding her child with rotten teeth in one hand and a cig/venti Mocca Frappachino with extra whip combo in the other floating around on the celebrity blog sites I visit.

So why does this news upset me so? Well first off, she, on the surface, looked normal. Eh, ok, not so true. She did and possible still does sport the, blonde on top, black underneath hair look that's definitely not a style winner. But besides that, I thought that she would escape the chicken friedness of it all. You know what I'm talking about right? The idea that after looking at it and by chance smelling it you have to wash your hands. That's Britney in a nutshell so I figured the younger sister would learn from the elders mistakes. But it ain't so. Oh, how it ain't so. Now the world has to deal with 3 Spears in the world in the span of 3 years. 3 Spears who's family gene pool, according to Us Weekly, includes a suicider, a wife beater, a substance abuser, and Britney. Tragic. And this in a world that only has one Clinton, one (biological) Jolie-Pitt, two Gates, and two sons of WIndsor. Which begs the question, what are these crazy loco Spears up to? Don't think for one second I don't smell a conspiracy. Is Vladimir Putin behind this? Did he pay for their impregnation and subsequent dumbing down of our Nation through their birth to bring Russia back as a formidable enemy?

You tell me.

More After the Jump!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

What's on My Christmas List this Year?

My parents are befuddled as to what to get me for Christmas this year. Yes I know I'm 27 but lists are still important and utilized in my household. Since the annual familial December getaway was sidelined I figured this year is the year to get the big, and I mean THE BIG ticket items. You know what they say, right? Trips to Spain or El Salvador, or wherever my mother chooses to travel for the Holidays may come and go, but a 32" inch 1080p Sony flatscreen lasts a lifetime... well, actually, with my sad pathetic excuse for luck only until the warranty expires. In any event, the sky is the limit this time round folks so join me as I embark on a making my annual last minute, poorly thought out and executed but fun to make Christmas list:

List after the jump! (Mom, this means click on the link that says "More After The Jump)

To make the compilation a bit easier I'm going to split my desires in key categories, starting with:


32" Class BRAVIA® XBR-series LCD Flat Panel HDTV: I'm literally salivating thinking about it.

Blu-Ray DVD Player: Yes there is a difference between Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. I, however, have made my decision

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usPhotoShop CS3: I have Photoshop Elements 4.0, but my creative juices are stymied with that one. I need to expand my horizons.

Image Hosted by Goyard shopping tote: I've wanted one for years. One can only get them at Barney's New York stores. *cough*there's-one-in-LA-*cough*. I know they are pricey little suckers but heck this is my "Stretching It" Section. Preferred colors: Green, White, Red, or Brown.


Image Hosted by ImageShack.usginette_ny Tube Necklace: small, tasteful, and classic. Was there any doubt?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usFoley + Corinna Mini City Tote. I love this bag berry much. In fact I love a lot of bags but this is one I don't feel guilty hauling around. (also available at

Image Hosted by ImageShack.uspuppy: Just look at that face. Seriously, how can one resist. As an equal opportunity owner I am open to many breeds.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usreplacement sunglasses: My Tom Ford's broke and while I got credit back for them, there is a void that needs to be filled.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usJ Crew: Have you seen their catalogue lately? I want every shoe, sweater, purse, scarf, coat, in that damn thing. If seriously considering this option come find me as I have post its on my favorites.


Image Hosted by ImageShack.usOnce on DVD: One of the most memorable movies of the year for me.

Image Hosted by Some suggest gift cards are impersonal but I say Itunes gift cards come from the heart, especially for this music lover who just got a Itouch.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI Love Jim T-shirt: I have the mug so I need the shirt to complete the look. Plus if I can't have Jim, I'll have his image emblazoned on my chest. Weird? Yep.

This completes my random and extremely unhelpful guide as to what I'd like for Christmas. You want to know the truth of the matter, though? I honestly don't need anything. I've been uber blessed in my life with such a wonderful family, fabulous friends, health insurance, and a little dog too. So while opening presents on Christmas day will be fun and all, I'll be more excited to be in my house laughing, hugging, complaining, fighting, disowning then reowning my fam. Cause really, there is no present better than that.

More After the Jump!

Sunday Special with a Cherry on Top

For your downloading pleasure:

Image Hosted by

Landon Pigg: "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop"

Use the song wisely boys and girls.

More After the Jump!

Friday, December 14, 2007

What's Your Christmas Wish?

My wish can be summed up as follows:

tee hee hee!

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Speaking of GOB

Will Arnett was cast as the voice of KITT. As in yes they want to remake Knight Rider into a 2 hour TV movie which could, if ratings are good, become a revamped series. Yeah, I don't get it either but whatevs. Rumors abounded that KITT would be voiced by Rainn Wilson, but I guess not. Either way, KITT's going to be beyond awesome now. Fingers crossed.

More After the Jump!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

C'est Possible?

I think I'm literally in love with a song. Like I want to marry it and have musical note babies with it. Honestly the track is so simple yet beautiful, and yes, very chick. But that will not deter me from talking about its graces. Boys, play this for your girlfriends and wives, or the girl you crush on, you'll definitely get lucky. Trust.

Landon Pigg: "Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop"

More After the Jump!

Time For An Important Message

Be Safe. Innoculate.

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Friday, December 7, 2007

Hip, Hip Hooray It's Christmas Vacation

TBS rebroadcast one of my favorite holiday classics, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, last night and I've gotta say, this baby is like a fine wine that just gets better with time. And I just noticed something random last night. Do you realize that the children are played by different actors in every installment? Rusty has been played, most famously by Anthony Michael Hall (original), but also Johnny Galecki (Christmas Vacation) of Rosanne and The Big Bang Theory, and Ethan Embry (Vegas Vacation) of Brotherhood,Can't Hardly Wait, and Dutch. Wait, you remember Dutch, right? With Ed O'Neil and the dog? No? Whatever. I was young and impressionable then. Anyway, back to Rustys' there was also that other one from European Vacation, whom I can only image is out of the business. Or at least I hope he is. For his sake. The whole exercise reminds me of The Office when Michael brought back two completely different Asian girls from Benihanas. Then he had to mark one of them. The tears of laughter still come out with that scene. Good Times.

In any event, Christmas Vacation is a staple of mine. That and A Christmas Story. So to celebrate such a crowning achievement of Holiday Splendor, I give you one of my favorite scenes. Enjoy!:

More After the Jump!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Happy Birthday Mom!

My mother doesn't actually read my blog. Tis true. She's too busy you know, working full time as an entrepreneur and a mother, and as my therapist. Plus she doesn't like to hear my random ramblings. It causes her migraines apparently...and possibly ulcers. Either way, Happy Birthday Rita. You're the best.

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Juno of a Better Way to Spend an Evening?

Last night I had the privilege of attending a free screening of the new Jason Reitman film, Juno, at the Angelika. The film will not arrive in our neighborhood until Dec. 21st so I definitely wanted to take advantage of this lovely event. The movie is about a precocious 16 year old named Juno McGuff who gets pregnant by her friend, George Michael, Pauly Bleeker, and all the sweet hilarity and touching drama that ensues as her pregnancy advances. Now I had really high expectations for the film since it was written by the extraordinary Diablo Cody and starred both Michael Cera and Jason Bateman. Fortunately this film WAY exceeded my expectations. More After the jump!

Without going into details about the film...and trust me, you don't want me to ruin anything...I will say that in a world where there have been hundreds of thousands of movies covering practically every topic and every quandry with all the facets of the human emotion, this film manages to provide a fresh, unique, and irresistible voice. Every word uttered by Juno is a true winner. So much so, that I wished more than anything that my theatre seat had a Tivo remote control to rewind and replay. Ellen Page, the actress who plays Juno owned the role, just as the role of Vivian was owned by Julia Roberts, and the role of Sid Vicious was owned by Gary Oldman. She was the perfect Juno. In fact, while I single Ellen out, I should give props to Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, J.K Simmons, and of course my new boy crush, Michael Cera. All of them gave the sweetly sarcastic words of Diablo Cody warmth and a lot of heart.

I was afraid that the film would be more of a cautionary tale against teen pregnancy but I'll be darned if I didn't end up feeling that the pregnancy was just an excuse or a backdrop to allow Juno to talk about heartburn and fecal schedules all while discovering Sonic Youth's cover of the Carpenters. It was brilliant indeed. The film takes something as serious as unwanted pregnancy and gives it an "Oh well, what's for dinner?" approach. And that is why I fell in love with it.

So do I recommend the film? You bet your $10 dollar movie ticket on it. Check it out, Dec 5th for some, Dec. 21st for most.

More After the Jump!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Oprah and her Minions

From the desk of Jonathan Patrick, Internet Provocateur

Greetings, Geek to Sheekers of the Blogosphere! Gather round the campfire, as I have a story to share with you. Over Thanksgiving, I was at home and my sister and mother forced me (at gunpoint) to watch two episodes of Oprah.

Patrick family photograph, circa Thanksgiving 2007

One episode was the Hannah Montana episode. The other - Oprah's Favorite Things episode. Don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with the actual content of these shows. I did find some humor in the similarity between the two audiences.

At first glance, you'd think these shows would be polar opposites in terms of the type of studio audience they would draw (young girls for Hannah Montana, old witches for Oprah's Favorite Things). This is not the case. Young girls? Old witches? They're all the same once you put them under Oprah's spell. Luckily, I had pen and paper handy as I was able to jot down the following scripts from the two shows. They're almost identical:

Oprah: Welcome to my [Hannah Montana/Favorite Things] episode!

Audience [Young Girls/Old Witches]: a combination of wild screaming, crying, violent gyrations of the body and scattered "Praise be to Jeebus!"

- The Crazy Scale registers a 10 out of a 10 -

Oprah: I'm glad you could make it.

Audience [Young Girls/Old Witches]: a combination of wild screaming, crying, violent gyrations of the body and scattered "Praise be to Jeebus!"

- The Crazy Scale ratchets it up just a bit more -

Oprah: Now, just for you, my studio audience [live performance by Hannah Montana/a free mixmaster]!!!!

Audience [Young Girls/Old Witches]: a combination of wild screaming, crying, violent gyrations of the body and scattered "Praise be to Jeebus!"

- The Crazy Scale is broken. The place is going bonkers. -
This of course means two things: 1) receiving a mixmaster later in life is the equivalent of meeting your hero (sign me up for a mixmaster) or 2) meeting your hero is the childhood equivalent of getting a mixmaster (pretty depressing).

More After the Jump!