Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mickey Teach Me Your Ways

On our first full day in Los Angeles my sister got the chance to decide what the agenda would entail. She had one word for us: Disneyland. So we took I-10 to 5 or something and made our way to Anaheim, California to visit, what some suggest is the happiest place on Earth. Well, technically that would be Disney World what with the delightful Epcot Center, and MGM Studios. So perhaps "Earth" is a misnomer. Perhaps it would be better to state that Disneyland is the happiest place on the California coast. Yep, that seems about right. Point is that we spent a fun filled day and night riding the rides and enjoying the fireworks. While waiting in those seemingly short but actually sneakily long lines (Sure it says only 30 minutes for the Peter Pan ride, but I didn't realize that 30 minutes starts when the winding line reaches the ramp up to the ships and not at the actual sign. And 30 minutes doesn't account for Manuelito's cousin Jose and his mother, father, uncle, grandmother, and second cousin Maria Conchita Selena cutting in either) my brother and I discussed the cash cow Walt Disney has created in his theme parks. Our discussion after the jump

Truth is I don't know a better well oiled machine than the magic of Disney. While my brother went ahead and ordered our hamburgers from the Enchanting $15 dollar Burger Bungalow in Fantasyland, my duty was to get seating. Now seating is tricky. Oh and I actually ordered a veggie burger that tasted like mung beans, but that's neither here nor there. Thing is one has to walk around for like 20 minutes just waiting to see any sort of upward movement from the patrons actually sitting down enjoying their own $15 burgers, churros, mickey shaped ice creams, and funnel cakes topped with crumbled brownies, whipped cream, and sprinkles (yeah, that one looked delicious). Of course one sees said patron rise and you have no choice but to make a mad dash for the table, fighting grannies, six year olds, and the japanese tourists along the way only to find that the person getting up simply had to get ketchup. Sidenote: this is why I always insist on getting more ketchup than a small village can consume in a week when you're at the condiments table. I agree that it's wasteful, but at least it doesn't get the hopes up of the poor schmo, read: me, who thinks standing up signifies done eating. If a plethora of ketchup had been acquired then I wouldn't have had to trip the grannie risking a ticket straight to Hell to get to the table first. Inevitably though, when no free table is available, one is left hovering over a random family of four that you notice has only two more bites of their burger and five and 1/2 fries left on their plate. They look up and notice that you're in their personal space and radiating a death glare so they pack it in early, grabbing their children's hands fearing the worst on their way out. You turn around and say ever so gently " Oh, you're done? Thanks!", then plop down on one of the chairs before the aunt has time to lift her tray up. You stare at those five and 1/2 fries and it takes all the strength you can muster not to say, "Are you going to finish that". You hang your head in despair as you see those little guys slide into the trash can. A sad moment.

But clearly not what I was aiming for with this post. After I made the woman in crutches hobble somewhere else I noticed that the Enchanted Burger Bungalow was sponsored by Minute Maid. What?, I thought to myself, what does that mean? I pondered this thought for another 50 minutes while I waited for my mung bean burger. Finally when my bro sat down he told me that Minute Maid must pay Disney a million billion dollars a year to have their little name etched on the cottage sign. "But wait!" I said. Almost every restaurant in the park, every ride, every stand has a "sponsored by" sign! All of a sudden my eyes opened up to the reality of all realities: Disney is the greatest business scheme of all time. With my super special finance senses awakened, and you know, the map, I started picking up on other things. Did you know that Disney allows McDonald's to sell their fries, just their fries, in little food stations through-out the park? Cha-Ching! Did you know that Disney has cameramen sponsored by Kodak at all the perfect photo spots to take a lovely picture of your entire family. No more will a Dad be left out of the shot. Nope, let the random dude take it and give you a number so that you may purchase that photo on your way out. Did you know that Disney provides it's visitors free aspirin, Tums, Pepto, and other medicines, sponsored of course by Bayer, at the First Aid Center. Yep, they even thought of that. I had a migraine around 4pm and was seriously thinking of calling it a day. I figured I should at least attempt to purchase some Exedren at some shop on Main Street. When I went asking for a place that carried my happy pills an attendant smiled and said, "Oh I'm sorry you feel so bad, just mosey on down to the First Aid Center, they'll take care of you so that you enjoy your stay with us". WTF?! So I entered the cutesy First Aid Center and some nurse, in a nurse costume ripped out of a cartoon, cause every employee is dressed up in ridiculous possibly Crayola sponsored polyester getup, just handed me some free meds. All I had to do was sign their "guestbook". I thought to myself, Wow. They don't want you to leave either. Did I mention they also have a daycare for the newbie babies. Yeah, I know, right. A place made specifically for kids, has a place to dump them when they're being annoying. I didn't check but I'm sure it's sponsored by Pampers or something.

Bottom line is that every little inch of this theme park was methodically thought out. It's a heck of an idea I'll give them that. And honestly I didn't mind because I had fun. More fun than I'd had in a long time. So as the fake snow fell in conjunction with the new Celine Dion song, available for purchase on Main Street, I said, I wanna come back again next year!

Success is theirs.

More After the Jump!

Clap Your Hands and Say...Welcome

After tireless negotiations JP and I have reached an agreement and he has kindly decided to come onboard as a contributor to Geek to Sheek. Yes guys, I've given him the keys to my kingdom and he will now grace us with his wisdom, wit, and nerdity. Look out for his posts once in awhile. I can't tell you what he'll say, and I have given him no parameters so this shall be a great social experiment. And if not I'll kick him off the island. Hey, I never said this was a democracy. So Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah! (pun intended) *No Jump.

More After the Jump!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

California...California...Here I Cooommmmeeee! (TWSS)

Leave for Los Angeles tonight...stop.

Be back on Sunday...stop.

Miss me lots...stop.

Turkey is delicioso...stop.

But not the dark meat....stop.

I know it's supposed to be the best part...stop.

But dark meat still kinda grosses me out...stop.

More After the Jump!


One day I'll make it guys. I swear. And when I do, I'll weep like a baby taking its first breath. Yes, my friends, today IS the most awesome day to be an Oprah audience member because today she unveils her "favorite things". In the past those have included Ipods, flat panel television monitors, Burberry coats, digital camcorders, washer/dryers, cameras, trips to spas, cashmere sweaters and my favorite...specially imported cheesecake. Yum. I got an early spoiler of what this year's pilgrims get and let's just say...Holy Sweet Mother of the Almighty. Yeah, that good. I'm not going to ruin the surprise for anyone so just tune in and seethe with jealousy. Here's hoping these fine folks realize and can afford the taxes on this years ditties.

More After the Jump!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Rashida Jones, We Could Be Friends

I've always wanted to hate her. Not only is she so freaking gorgeous, but she can sing beautifully, has Quincy Jones as a father, is crazy smart having attend Harvard, AND has dated and is possibly re-dating John Krasinski. Oh and she played Pam's nemesis Karen Filipelli on The Office. That alone should have been enough mind you. But alas, she's just too cool to hate. So cool in fact that she brought this video to my attention and I will now forever be indebted to her. In a recent article by New York Magazine, the writer asked a couple of famous celebrities what they watch on youtube. Rashida said this:

"'Welcome to My Home,' by Brenda Dickson. You have to go home and watch it right now. She was on The Young and the Restless in the seventies and eighties. She produced a video by herself, introducing you into her life and sort of showing you how to dress like her and eat like her and work out like her. It is so well produced, without irony. It is pitch-perfect eighties. She is literally facing a wall in between a mirror and a painting, just facing a wall in a gold gown, and she turns around, 'Well, hello! I'm Brenda Dickson. Lots of people ask me how I look as good as I do after eleven and a half years on The Young and the Restless.' It's insane! It's so entertaining."

Of course I thought to myself, how entertaining can this possibly be. Answer: VERRrry I just about died watching it because the irony of it all was that had I seen that video at the time, (I was 7) I probably would've given my left eye to be her. Check it out for yourself.

I give you: Welcome to My House by former soap star, Brenda Dickson. Oh and Rashida, call me!

More After the Jump!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Did We Disregard the Indians Again?

Poor, Poor, Indians. First we introduced them to smallpox and bullet holes in the back, then we took their land, following that we made long hair the symbol of slackery (sorry B), then we decide to pay them little if any money for their work, *prompting them to succumb to diabetes from the lack of healthy alternatives in fast food, and now, well, now we've decided to pass over their holiday decorations entirely. That's right, cornucopias and construction paper turkeys made out of one's own hands are so yesterday. What's in it's place? Well follow the jump and I'll tell you.

* Diabetes is the fastest growing illness amongst Native Americans

Today my friends I made a memo to self: Put up Christmas decorations three months in advance and start listening to Sunny 99.1 because the all Christmas all the time music begins any day now. Oh and stop by my local Starbucks because the Peppermint Mocha and red snowflake styrofoam cups are out. Asterisk to memo: WTH? Honestly, can someone please inform me as to why every darn street corner already has its Christmas lights up and not mosaics of Indians and Pilgrims having a laugh over pelts and turkey? You know it just makes me feel lazy and Un-Christian to realize that Jesus' birthday celebration apparently starts after Halloween now. Not to mention the fact that it gives this false anxiety that I have to hurry up and get my gifts (which are going to be sparse this year X-Woman so don't even dare to dream of what to expect.)

Seriously though, I have to ask? Did the government mail a questionnaire asking the general public if they wouldn't mind skipping Turkey day jubilee or what?

More After the Jump!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Mind the Construction

I'm playing around with my fonts, colors, layouts, and background so don't worry if every time you tune into the blog something is different. It's not you. It's me.

More After the Jump!

Ni Tu Ni Nadie (Not You Nor Anyone)

On my way to work this morning my ITouch played a song I hadn't heard in ages, it's called "Ni Tu Ni Nadie" by Moeña. The tune is a remake of a song by Alaska y Dinamara but I doubt any here has heard the original so whatevs. The point is I remember watching the music vid awhile back and thinking it was a very neat concept. So of course the first thing I did when I got to the office was find it. We're not busy, so sue me. I thought I'd share it with you guys. And as an added bonus you can download the song here as well. Enjoy.

Ni Tu Ni Nadie": Moeña

More After the Jump!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Happy Belated Birthday to Kimberly!

First and foremost. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KIMBERLY! I suck at life. I really do. No excuse to miss your B-day, especially when it's on a highly anticipated holiday. Please forgive this tiresome friend. And here is the rest of it.

More After the Jump!