Thursday, December 11, 2008

In Honor of the Snow

Last night snow fell in my hometown. A sight I probably haven't seen since I was about nine or ten. I even remember what I wore that fateful day eons ago. For the curious it was a turqoise pajama set. God, my brother and I had fun that day running around and playing in the milimeter thick blanket of blow. We tried to make snowballs that, sadly, never could get any bigger than the size of a snow cone made with Snoopy's super special snow cone machine to throw at each other. Ahh, to feel young again without the use of alcohol. Sigh.

My sister was particularly excited about the paltry scene last night. It was her first snow fall after all. She took the requiste bazillion pictures. Look, a fleck of snow falling! Click Click Click. The deck! The deck! Snap Snap Snap. The bitch in me wanted to say, I've seen better, but I refrained. I didn't want to ruin the magic for her. In all sincerity it did finally feel like Christmas, if only for a span of six hours. Forecasters have us back in the 70's by the weekend. Blerg. At least I still have the Vince Guaraldi Trio and the Peppermint Mocha's, right?

More After the Jump!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

New Obsessions

Where have I been? Yada Yada Yada, border town, no donkey shows, wish you were here. Moving on. I've got two new band obsessions. One, is a sprinkle of Police with a dash of fuck if I know. The other? I'm too embarrassed to reveal yet. Give me time or until the end of this post.

First up: Mute Math. Delicious. I heart them. Frankly, I can't believe they skipped my radar. They're like that band where you think to yourself, where have you been my whole life? Answer: in New Orleans in high school probably head banging to Nirvana like the rest of us. The only other time I felt that way was three or four years ago and her name was Imogen. Mmmmm whatcha say...but you only meant well...well of course you did hmmmm whatcha say...oooh and it's justa what we nee.. BAM! BAM BAM! Marissa shoots Trey. End Scene. So yeah, they're awesome. So awesome that I burned a damn CD and shipped it. A CD dude. That's love. If one were to ask me to describe their sound I could only say this. If you got the Police to hang out with like Death Cab and some other band that's like Death Cab but not then you would have Mute Math. Download this: You are Mine and Noticed.

Second: Ok, I'm not ready yet. It's just too wrong. Fine. I'll say it. Paramore. *winces*. I feel like I should be wearing skinny black jeans, vans, a Night Before Christmas hoodie, and a beanie that hides my razor cut pitch black hair. They're in essence this generations Ev-a-nescene. Amy Lee with a bolder hair color but alas I like them. Something about a really good female vocalist just gets me. The band is signed to the Chop Shop label so in my mind that minimizes the self-loathe. Alexandra doesn't put shit on her label. Yes, The Fray can go die now and Snow Patrol will forever be that band in Greys but at one point they were fresh sounds and thats what Alexandra delivers. And again, yes I know I just said upthread they're this gen's Evanescene so how can I mention freshness yet simultaneously compare them to a popular band from the early 00's. Because I do what I want. I keel people... Dowload this: Decode, I Caught Myself, That's What You Get.

Now why these random two bands all of a sudden? Because they're featured on the Twilight Soundtrack. Stop rolling your eyes Jas. It's kinda embarrassing, ok extremely embarrassing that I've had to experience them through a tween phenom but when good music comes around you don't argue where you first heard it, you appreciate the discovery and go on with your life. But...going back to the soundtrack, it's awesome. MuteMath, Paramore, Blue Foundation, The Black Ghosts. Ever heard of any of them? I hadn't. Well, yes I knew of Paramore but the rest, nope. And they're heaven. If you don't want anyone to catch you sampling the Twilight Soundtrack go to their myspace pages and listen.

Also..Keane, "Spiriling" is insane. I'll upload some songs later, but for now sample their myspace pages.

More After the Jump!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Happy Birthday Danielle!!

I don't know if she even reads this anymore? Does anyone? it me you're looking foooorrrr! And scene. Happy Birthday friend, enjoy your day.

More After the Jump!

Monday, September 15, 2008

May This Be a Lesson

It isn't very often life throws me a lesson. The few times I can count on my fingers. Once was when I threw out my old Units leggings only to realize in 1997, 2001, 2003, 2005, and 2008 that spandex is a girl's best friend after a Cheetos dinner. Bonus, it's apparently trendy again. Lesson learned: Do not throw away any article of clothing ever. Put it in storage or in your brother's closet unbeknowest to them if you have to. Then when you dig them out for the fifth time, dust off your "Get in Shape Girl" tape and accompaning baton and work out the pain of life. Another, don't make bets. Not for dollars, bragging rights, or the last diet Worthers Originals. Inevitably you will lose. And having to watch a friend crunch down on buttery goodness while your stomach trembles in sadness and hunger because you are trying to lose weight for an event that will suck anyway is a torture I think no one should experience. Lesson learned: Don't make bets. Other than that any lesson that God pushed my way I totally ignored and instead basqued in the glow of the general malaise of my generation. Follow after the jump.

Ike, however, had a different plan. Yes he did. He wanted to teach me the lesson to end all lessons. So he did by essentially slapping my face and whisper yelling, "Listen little girl, a day of reckoning is upon you! And that day is like right now at 5:30pm on Saturday September 13th, 2008." The cruelty of this very important lesson involved not one but two cans of Coke Zero. You see, I'm a panicker. I panic about even the minutest detail of everday life. I panic when I mistake a blonde hair for a grey hair, I panic when my tivo cuts a show off before the preview for the next episode is complete, I even panic when my puppy shits green. But aren't all shits green? Yes. To a degree. But money green and forest green are different and mean something. Dog owners understand. So one can only imagine the state of panic I was in Saturday at 1:30am when Ike stormed my city and raped it a new vagina while leaving its citizens with an understanding of how people lived way back in 1860 with no power. Eliza arrgh yew?...Needling thusly mama by the blaze of this ebolliant how vary refreshing dearest...shall we take a turn about the room?...Yeah, like that shit.

When it was all over, the real fun began. I can only describe it as akin to having one's eyes dilated and then being forced to stare at the sun for seven hours. We surveyed damage, cut down tree limbs with our bare hands (totally true) to remove the blockage in our driveway, and talked to each other. Ugh. But alas a ray of hope was near. At about 3:30pm Centerpoint Energy restored electricity in my house. Humanity rejoice! Hoorah! Why so blessed? I dunno. Sometimes life just is. Ooh but Ike was not pleased. How could he be when he had a day of reckoning to give me at 5:30pm on Saturday September 13th, 2008!!! Enter two shiny cans of Coke Zero. Technically one, but total two. As I had stated upthread I'm a panicker and in situations such as this, i.e a hurricane the size of Texas barreling towards my backyard at breakneck pace, the panicker tends to make plans and prepare. Part of this so-called preparation included the idea of rationing. The rules were as follows, ration batteries, ration food, and most imperative ration caffeine because in my life caffeine is only second, or even at times too close to call, to Jesus of Nazarrene. So in the Friday debriefing with the family I stated that Monique's Hurricane Preparation Plan stipulated only ONE Coke Zero per day per family member with asterick. Asterick being that the little one, Ximena, got none because she's the baby and also lazy and if one had to be disposable you take out the weakest link and well...all I'm saying is that China and Sophie would approve.

This was the plan and it was approved by all but the little one who was then bribed by $20.00. But someone inevitably broke rank, and that someone was me. When the power came back at 3:30 on Saturday September 13th, 2008, I said screw it. Life is too short!!, live a little sassy!!!, get a second Coke Zero!!, celebrate!!, the power is back on!!! Subconsciously I knew it was too good to be true, but I was cocky. So eventhough the plan in plain terms stated ONE Coke Zero per day until the family could assess the current situation, I busted that refridg open, stared its contents for longer than the prescribed 2.5 seconds also stipulated in Monique's Hurrican Preparation Plan (remember, the less you open up the refridg the longer the food stays cold...the more you know), and pulled another iced one. Not two hours later Ike cut off the electricity again. The exponential tragedy of it all? I wasn't thirsty. Lesson learned: Don't be an asshole. Side lesson: Stick to the plan. I didn't and am paying justly for it. I should have waited until the next day and the post ops family meeting to announce Monique's Hurricane Preparation Plan for 2008 as a success before attempting a two-fer but I was too cocky. My family is convinced my taking another Coke Zero plunged us into the darkness we're still living in today. Sadly, they're right. Sorry dudes. So as I sleep at my friends house again for the second night in a row I reiterate to you dear readers...don't be an asshole, stick to your plan.

More After the Jump!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hurricane Ike

I may die. That is all.

More After the Jump!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Review and/or Abused: 90210


I'm not going to go in depth here. I know you know I can but this series premiere was two effing hours long and I just don't have it in me to spend a day reveling in the lameness, therefore I'm just going to dabble in the low points after the jump, kay?

Let's see where do I begin? Oh yes, let's begin with the opening. Coldplay, Viva La Vida. Qu'est-ce que ├ža? I thought that one time I heard you on a teen soap, CP, you were just like doing Josh a favor. Half-truth? Hell, it's a nice surprise but also oddly uncomfortable. Is Colp aware there is no free trade on the little network that maybe can but probably won't? Or that people tuning in also like The Chris Daughtry and Hoobastank? My little Napoleonic drummer boys...are you getting too commercial on me? Am I going to see whopper flashing like strobe light technicolor set to the chorus of Clocks in a week? Do-do-do-do-do-do do-do do-do-do-do-do do-do, whopper, whopper...Sorry my brain got stuck. It took the state of the lovely ladies of West Bev to snap me out of it. I will only say this: If Mamma Cass were alive today she'd have easily mistaken them for knitting needles thusly sparing them from their fate as a ham sandwich. Also this: Do I need to send the CW the E! True Hollywood story of Tracy Gold? God, did anyone remember that? When, in the last episode ever of Growing Pains, Tracy was supposed to eat a piece of pizza but she was too far gone in her anorexia so she would tear of little bits between takes to ensure the taste didn't enter her tongue? No? Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every chunky high schooler in America!

Waifness aside, other surreally disturbing things caught my eye. Like the fact that the supposed jock with the sensitive heart got a blow job from someone who wasn't his bitchy girlfriend in the first oh, fifteen minutes of the show. Or the fact that said bitchy girlfriend was parading around in the sporty Chanel bag used by Madonna and other uber celebrities back in 2004. It's 2008 sweetie and even reality stars like Audrina Partride fake live with CC bags so it's time to find a more unobtainable designer. Goyard perhaps? Also, it's preferable that you choose a style that wasn't offered when Lohan was a heterosexual size six. If this show is going to survive on clothes and a soundtrack at least get those elements right. Right? Oh and one more tiny insignificant thing. Chanel is meant to be worn sporadically in one's ensemble. Do NOT go matchy matchy in the pearl Chanel earrings AND the long pearl Chanel necklace. We don't want to be confused for Euro, ok.

Back to the jockstrap with a heart of gold. How is this going to work here. So because the man feels deeply sad inside about letting some unassuming freshman blow him in his Yukon while his gf forwent a hair straightener we hope and pray and wish upon Edward Cullen that he eventually gets with Annie, the Kansas bred singing sensation that will melt our heart with her anorexia deteriorated ergo cosmetically repaired smile that is too white and too big because her face is too pulled because of said anorexia? In a word, no. Because that would be sending the wrong message to our young. The devil is in the details my friends.

And I'm not understanding the point of Dixon, Annie's adopted African American brother. Why is he black again? Are we trying to be different here CW? Like, "See America, just because we canceled practically all of our African American counter-programming doesn't mean we don't LOVE black people! Dixon is black! See!! We LOVE Black people!" If it fits the story then hey man fair play, but let's be realistic. It makes no sense whatsoever that he's African American. The family is from Kansas for Heath's sake. Finding a Dixon in middle America is like finding a decent celebrity at the Republican National Convention. Are we going to have to suffer through the very special episode where Dixon gut wrenchingly hears a racial slur? Newsflash: we're past racial now, current trends favor religious persecution so it's Navid's story to lose frankly.

Also, what is with Silver, aka Erin, Kelly and David's haf-sister, and her blog. Its pretty effing lame. Is she attempting to be West Bev's Jib Jab? Or I dunno...Gossip Girl, who in my mind automatically wins in a throw-down because Kristen Bell's voice is a fierce bitch. Its so been done a thousand times already 90210, get with the program. Why can't Erin's hobby be like Future Daughters of the NRA or something equally right wing, like Junior Acheivement. She can pass out those bic pens to homeroom and talk about fiscal conservatism. Why did it have to die with Alex P. Keaton. Why?!?!

The only reason to watch this show is for Lucile Bluth. For her and to find out who Kelly's baby daddy is. And in that regard I'm banking on Dylan or that other lawyer dude who's name escapes me probably because I stopped watching when Kelly got shot in Hawaii on that vaycay with Brandon. It could be Brandon though. Let's not discount Brandon. Because while Dylan did sort of have a moment there with Kelly at Donna and David's wedding I, in my heart, know Dylan belongs to Brenda. He just does.

Anyway, I'll stop here. I could go over how all the songs chosen I'd already heard, or how Hannah Zuckerman Vasquez got the shaft but whatever. This post is past its prime.

More After the Jump!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Well this is annoying

About two months ago a couple of non-memorable So You Think You Can Dance contestants danced to a catchy groovy hip hop song titled, "American Boy". The song is by a British artist by the name of Estelle and features some fantabulous Kayne infused rap. I liked it alot and said to myself at the time, "ohh, I need to download that". Well, up until yesterday night that task was still on my to-do list, but of course since God punishes the lazy I find out this morning that WB Music has decided to pull Estelle's only real hit from iTunes in the hope that people will buy her album. The kicker? It was literally pulled last night. And damn it if I didn't contemplate at 6:30pm, 30 minutes before the premiere of the stellar Gossip Girl mind you, to download that particular song and The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds album. (more on that in another post). Kids, this goes to show that whenever you need to do something do it. Except sex in that dangerous two week period that may or may not leave you with the title of "mommy" or "daddy".

In reality this doesn't really make a difference. If I want to find the song I'll find it for free, which I have and will post here for shits and giggles. No, I'm concerned about the tactic. Who does that in this day and age? Who removes a surefire thing in the peak of its prime? Oh wait. I know. (more on that in another post) I may be wrong here, yeah hardly, but wasn't the invention of iTunes partly as a revolution against crappy albums with only one good radio friendly song? Like, in essence holding recording artists accountable for the crap they put out? Call me concerned if that was only a trend. I don't buy full albums unless they're instant classics and those are few and far between so you befuddle me WB Music. You really do. Don't make a habit of this you hear.

In any event I have the song because I'm awesome. Enjoy

Estelle featuring Kanye West: American Boy

More After the Jump!

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Genius of Facebook

So say I haven't seen you in ten years. And say neither you nor I ever really talked when we did see each other those ten long years ago. And lets say in those ten years of muteness I also forget your name but remember you wore those rocky mountain jeans that should only be worn by no one. So why should I now give a donkey's brain as to what you're up to or feel compelled to ask you to be my friend? Well, because I saw that small thumbnail size picture of you with a newborn on facebook and I thought to myself, wait...she just had a baby? And this my friends is the genius of facebook. It brings people together who had nothing in common before and most assuredly have nothing in common now except for the standard, whoa...what the ef happened to that dude mentality. The sheer novelty of the discovery is way too hard to resist.

So yeah I joined. I have no idea what applications do, or why I'm addicted to sending makeshift buttons called flairs with stupid catchphrases and young nubile actors on them just so I can add more flairs to my box, but it's an exciting time. I mean, just recently I reconnected with someone who I didn't even know existed in high school but I now know they're married, with two kids, living in the subs, still rocking the Adidas soccer sandals and they in turn know I'm still single, nerdy, and as unphotogenic as always. How awesome is that!

So here's to you genius facebook, you've made me realize that those I meant to forget really are forgettable or pregnant and those I've always admired still have something to talk about.


More After the Jump!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Seven Years Late to the Party

This is a clandestine post. Repeat. This is a clandestine post. I'm actually at my office right now feigning smartness and workingness. I could get fired for this, if, well, people knew my name and what I actually did here. But it's all worth it to be able to say, "clandestine". And fine, I'm kinda making that up. Not the "clandestine" part, that word is how babies are made, for reals, but rather the whole name part because it is true that yesterday I got a, "Hey Hollywood, when you movin' to L.A.?". And later, from the same, tae kwon doe jedi master, or whatever he's called besides Mike, the office supply guy, "Hey Punky Brewster! Don't she look like Punky Brewster? Yeah, you're Punky with a little Evangeline, you know, that chick from Lost mixed in for hotness. Ain't dat right? You know eyez am gurl" I wish I was making this up, or that I did look like a half Punky half Evangeline mut. Either way I'm off topic.

The point of this clandestine post, however, is to comment on the lastest fandom explosion. But before I touch upon said fandom explosion I thought it would be in my readers best interest to sort of give youse guys a sprinkle of backstory as to what the fuck is going on here. So why don't you be a dear and follow me after the jump.
Hmmm...let's start with four or five months ago when I began reading the Twilight Series. Yes, yes, that one. Again. Just please..just, just,... just don't go there, ok? I have enough esplaining to do in my life as is, what with the singledom, the eating vanilla icing out of the tub, and the Venus five blade razor that I swear is giving me more leg hair, so can we simply and without getting out of hand focus here. Alright?! DON'T YOU JUDGE ME YOU!!! Breathing...Where was I? Ah yes, so I was reading the saga, mentalizing how my therapist would spin the obsession...No Monique, what we are dealing with here is an obvious attempt to forgo a real life with real relationships and goals. A fictional boy will not love you back. He can't... when I realized that I had no one to talk to about this, besides my therapist who would inevitably attempt to pry the books from my short stubby hands. I mean, not even one person of my acquiantence who would take five minutes to indulge me on how Edward's love for Bella was like a meteor in a moonless night. It was crushing to say the least so I did what any other respectable twentysomething would do, I bargained with a friend. The deal was simple. She would, under the cover of night and possibly in disguise, read the book in exchange for something else. That "something else" would be determined at a later date. I agreed on the spot without even thinking about the risks of my action. I figured, what the hell could she force me to do, go to a bar with her and discuss my social ineptidude? Oooh, scary. So in conclusion, I shook her hand and it thusly changed my life. Not a week later my friend dropped something off at my house in a plastic bag. It was colorful, heavy, and thick. It was books 1-4 of the Harry Potter Series. Checkmate, Monique, Checkmate.

I had to hand it to her, she outsmarted me fairly and squarely. She had been telling me to read these book for awhile but I had adamantly refused because I don't do books that don't involve ripped bodices or some sort of main character with slight mental retardation/drug and alcohol problem. Alas I knew this was going to be rough, especially because there are seven of them and they seemed ridiculousy long and complicated with words like "muggle", "quiddich", and "wingardium leviosa" It's levi-O-sa, not Levio-SA. Thank you Rupert Grint. Also because there are seven of them. But a deal is a deal and I don't back out on deals, which is why, coincidentally I don't make deals. Ever. Except for that one time I made a deal with my father that I would stop wearing a toe ring if he stopped insinuating that said toe ring was a gateway to drugs. Anyway, I began. And then, poof, in an instant, I was done with all 7 of them. Words can not describe my exhilaration in reading these books, nor the complete emotional rollercoaster I felt during that time. With every last page of every book, I started sweating wondering what JK would do next to shadder my poor, frail muggle heart. NOOOOO Sirius NOOOOO!!!!!...Dumbledore? Wa? Can you hear me??Dumbledore?!? Dumbeldore?!?! Wake up!! Wake up!! NOOOOOO WWWWHHHH-EYYYYYY?sob...sob..sob..Dumbledorrrreeeee!!!!!!!..*faints*...Dobby what are you doing here?...Dobby, listen to me! It's dangerous... Be careful!!....DOBBYYYY not you too!!! NOOOO!!! you you...bastard JK!!!...

...A moment of silence....

Anywayz,I am happy to report that Harry, Ron, and Hermionie are now my fictional besties. YAY! Fantastic isn't it? Yes, it so is. As it was for the rest of the world, like in 2004. Apparently Severus Snape jokes are so lame now. I'm like the aunt who just got the Rachel haircut. Whatever. Also, Gary Oldman is still the hottest man alive. Done and Done.

But this again is not the point. So what is the point? The point wanna guess? Ok, fine, don't be so touchy. The point is that the sixth installment of the franchise, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was supposed to arrive in theaters November 21, 2008, but WB had other plans. Warner Bros thought to itself, "why we gonna waste deez-tentpole? (said as someone would say deez-nutz). Dark Knight essentially got us laid for da whole year so lez piss off da whole world! Yes Yes! (Don't ask me what the accent is, only my brain can do it) However, may I supplement with a translation: WB moved HP6 to July in order to ensure the bottom line for 2009. Since 2008 exceeded even its most ludicrous expectations they didn't want to waste another bonafide box office success on an already stellar year. Was that a smart move? My business background says yes, my muggle heart, however, says NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I will wait it out though and so will you.


More After the Jump!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Flames...Flames...on the side of my face! I have no words. Many of you know that Clue is hands down my favorite movie of all time. I'm not kidding. Favorite song? Yeah that's a toughie, always depends on my mood, but movies, there are no doubts. And if you didn't know it was my favorite movie, well then, now you know, and knowing is half the battle. Anyway I was perusing and I came across the WORST news EVER. Well, not, not ever. This disaster in Russia is appauling, and Darfur is a mess. Plus, Katie Holmes is still parading around in those butch jeans, but this is some really shitty news. For me. Turns out Hasbro is remaking the Clue game. The game that spawned my favorite movie of all time. The game that I would still play had I not lost half the weapons and the confidential manila folder. But seriously can you believe it!!!! Yeah. I KNOW!!! I can't. Just can't. And it would be fine if it was just a redesigning of the game board. Let me state for the record that I was still adamantly opposed to the idea but I understand shoulder pads on Ms. Scarlett wouldn't seem sexy anymore. However, Hasbro hasn't just decided to re-design characters, they re-made characters. Coronel Mustard? Nope, gone. Replaced by a the "Colonel" a famous ex-football player. Yeah. I KNOW!!! The lead pipe? Finito. Replaced with three new weapons of slaughter, an axe, a trophy, and a baseball bat. Yeah. I KNOW!!! An axe? Really? Who has an effing axe just laying around. And how the hell is that supposed to fit into a little black box with light blue ribbon to be opened in the library? And finally, one now has the chance to die in the spa room, or a theater. Yeah. I KNOW!!! This is just eggregious. I feel like I should start some sort of campaign. I can't just sit here and let this happen. This is my childhood for God's sake. Who's with me!! And here is the rest of it.

More After the Jump!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Two degrees from Brangelina

From the desk of Jonathan Patrick

Greetings, my fellow Totallygeektosheekers.  I have a story that I thought I owuld share with you:

Yesterday, I pulled up to a red light by the Beverly Center and noticed an older man with a windbreaker waiting to cross the street.  I look closer at the windbreaker and notice a patch on his shoulder in the shape of the great state of Texas.  It looks as if it represents some high school.  I think to myself, "Self, this guy must be a high school football coach from Texas".  He definitely has that high school football look (whatever that means).  I peer over to see if I can recognize which high school this dude is from.  I can't tell, but I do hear the car next to me giggling.  I look over and it's full of girls giggling and one has her camera out.... I look back at "coach" as he's walking in front of me and it's Jon Voight.  And he's wearing his windbreaker from Varsity Blues.  It says Coyotes across his back.
Go Coyotes.

More After the Jump!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Minnetonka Again?

So I get a lot of spam emails from fashion websites that I peruse occasionally. Ok not occassionally, a lot, but whatever. And usually I can sort of see where the trends are hitting and then try and find my own personal way to incorporate it into my already hobo/conservative/inappropriate for my age look. But today man, I was just sort of like, oh Lord, again?!? Minnetonka's are back. They're the indian inspired mocassin version of the Ugg. A couple of years ago they were here and fierce in mocassin indian slipper form. Now however they're tall and bootlike. Listen, I don't mind repeating trends but can't we find some way for the girls down south to enjoy. Honestly pee-pol! I'll still buy then, but I don't have to like it. And here is the rest of it.

More After the Jump!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Successor to my Mormon Wonderboy

Those who know me know I am not ashamed of my interests. Let's see there's the obsession with fictional couples, i.e Jim and Pam, there's the obsession with young adult novels, i.e Twilight, there's the obsession with cheesy music, i.e. You are the Music in Me, and of course there's the one acceptable obsession in my life, my baby Fitz. However there is one interest, just one, that most of my friends were unaware of. His name was Benji and he was a season 2 contestant on So You Think You Can Dance. Benji was a west coast swing dancer who stole my heart with his amazing cha-cha and pop jazz. I sense the laughter guys but hey, you know what, he was good. Great even. And he won, so there. The point is though, that my fanaticism and devotion to him was so strong at the time that I literally spent my whole night at a bar ignoring my friends dialing 1800 Tempo 06 to vote for him. I thought after him I was done. Alas I was wrong. Season 4 of So You Think You Can Dance has my fingers itching again but for who? I can't decide. Two couples have caught my eye and one boy in particular, Joshua, an 18 year old hip hop popper with braces has me excited. Excited enough to start dialing at bars? We shall see. For now I want you guys to marvel at my two favorite routines so far staring my two favorite couples: Which one do you like?

Katee & Joshua: hip hop routine to No Air by Jordan Sparks

Chelsea & Mark: hip hop routine to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis

Difficult decision ahead, no?

More After the Jump!

We are the World: Japanese Style

This post should be written by JP because he found it and then posted it on my brother's facebook but seeing as he's soooooo busy growing his beard I thought I would post it for all to enjoy. And by beard I don't mean...Oh nevermind. He likes girls. I've seen it with my own eyes. I just think it takes a particularly confident girl to adore the Magnum PI stash. You hear that JP!!! Kidding. Hearts an rainbows to you friend. Enjoy the shenanigans this weekend.

This culture takes a while to understand I imagine.

More After the Jump!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My grandmother, Dona Maymi, died recently. She was 86 years young with such an amazing sense of self. In a way she was my runner-up idol because Maymi raised Rita, my mother, and taught her to be the most wonderfully positive person. She used to tell me tons of stories about her life. Most of them detailed the funny things my mother did as a child, others belied the truths surrounding the realities of being an Ambassador's wife, and while these accounts were always wonderful to hear, one always stood out above all the rest. And it had no pomp and circumstance to it. It was the time she was single,20, and living in New York City. She had lived in a cramped apartment with four or so other girls, one, she adamantly declared never showered to her recollection. Maymi found herself as a receptionist in one of those tall New York skyline buildings. Everyday she would run downstairs and buy a sandwich form the vending machines for a nickel. "Can you believe that?!," she would say, "A Nickel!!" And that was it. That was the gist of the story, the idea that a meal back then would only cost her five cents. But of course I clung to that story for very different reasons. Because you see, in my mind that defined the woman that she was, a positive, self-assured lady who went to New York because she wanted to and ate sandwiches because she like them. To this day this is who I want to become.

The last time I saw her was five years ago but my image of her is greater than the gap. I can still picture her reading Danielle Steele with a magnifying glass, her hair perfectly coiffed, her nails red or coral perfectly manicured, and her cheeks peach by way of two perfectly round splotches applied by eyes that could barely see. Maymi was always impeccable through and through. I'm really going to miss her; her existence made the world a more optimistic place. So now, all I have left to say is, Adios tita, te quiero mucho.

More After the Jump!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Whoa...Dream Big!

Ellen Page has announced her next project and it's a literary classic. Jane Eyre to be exact. That's just..I don't know. I understand the need to follow up an Oscar winning performance with some different roles to show your range but...yeah. She seems too manly? (is that the right word) too acerbic? Your thoughts?

And here is the rest of it.

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Monday, April 28, 2008

My Monday Gripe

I know I know. I haven't been updating as much as I normally do. Yeah, shame on me and all that good stuff. Moving on...

I feel like griping this morning. Not about anything having to do with my life, mind you, that's all good, or as good as my therapist tells me it is on a weekly basis. No, today I feel like griping about random things that I've observed over the weekend in Hollywoodland. It's all ridiculous and certainly not worth your time but humor me for a sec.

1. Why is Miley Cyrus seriously apologizing for a photo spreed in Vanity Fair shot by Anny Leibowitz? Um, hey little girl I know in backwards Arkansas or Alabama or where ever you're from the local Walmart has a photo special, 5 12x17s for the price of 15 5x7s!. And yeah I get that they even let you pick your favorite gauzy background that matches your eyes for free but this is Vanity Fair. You put out and shut up. If they want you on a donkey singing show tunes while naked like Lady Godiva you do it and you ask for a copy to frame for your parent's wall. I'm sure it'll be the only thing besides generic Z Gallery artwork anyway. You don't however, waste Annie's time and then insult her by suggesting you were manipulated into a shot that's clearly benign to begin with. Well, more benign than those assinine photos of yourself you keep putting out on myspace with your crusty boyfriend and lime green bra. So do yourself a favor. Stick to J-14. You're not wanted around the cultured.

2. Who greenlit Made of Honor? I'm serious here. Who thought it would be a good idea to essentially take My Best Friend's Wedding, switch genders, add a little hair gel to it and send it to the cinemas? Who is Patrick Dempsey's agent? Because let's get real here. Grey's is on a death spiral, Freedom Writers was the suckitude, and this poor excuse for a romantic comedy is his next Loverboy. And before you can say, what about Enchanted, that movie belonged to Amy Adams. Put James Marsden in PD's role and it would have worked just fine. McDreamy needs an intervention. Stat.

More later

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

And Babies Make Three....

I'm going to tone down the sarcasm for this one little post because it deals with two extremely dear friends of mine who have informed me that they're pregnant. (note: I said pregnant and not preggos). Honestly I thought when this day came I'd have to start taking Xanax but to my surprise this unexpected news has brought me nothing but joy for me and downright elation for my friends. My peeps are going to be extraordinary mothers and I'll be the crazy single aunt who'll let them watch Pretty Woman at five. Can't wait!

So in closing....

Congrats besties. Life doesn't get much sweeter than this.

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

McLovin' Needs Our Help

Every typecast actor deserves a chance, no?

Why is it that everytime I see Kristen's face my heart jumps a little?

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Project Run-away?

I bet you guys love my post titles don't you? C'mon, admit it, I'm clever. Whatever. On the heels of learning through, my homepage, that Lifetime will now be the home of Project Runway, (another cupela bilz in the bank, no Weinstein?), I have now learned that Elle Magazine has fired Nina Garcia. Or as Heidi would say, she's been auffed. Yeah, crazy, right? So now what will the new prize be? $100,000 dollars to start your own clothing line and a fashion spread in Essence? Well, at least that's better than having no Nefarious Nina on the show though. I can't imagine not hearing Heidi yell, Neeeeena Garcia! every week. That would be tragic. But knowing that she's contract bound to the Weinsteins we know that isn't even an option. There is, however, still the question of...what did Nina do to get the boot?


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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Shout Out to Nick & Norah

So I'm in a book club and at our last meeting I had the luck of selecting the torn piece of receipt with the "x" on it which meant I would be selecting our next choice. The responsibility thrown upon me was awesome to say the least. Selecting a book is akin to making a playlist for a friend. You want the picks to be cultured, hip, cool, mentionable and somewhat unheard of, but then again is that really you? I mean I've got some great and unique music but at the end of the day I still like my Rihanna and OneRepublic and unfortunately those are the type of songs most would love to see an American Idol hopeful sing to them. (sidenote: vomit) So I was torn. Should I pick a book that is somewhat obscure and random; a book no one has heard much about but seems cool enough to walk through an airport with it under one's arm and not feel ashamed or should I pick what I really want to read, chick fluff. Granted chick fluff doesn't go far in a discussion but what is a book club really. Just a way for girls to gather with wine and speak about their crazy week, no?

Yeah I struggled. Deep down I wanted to pick Twilight so that I would no longer carry the squeeage burden by myself but I know I would never have the guts to do that. The book, as I've said before, is piss poor in certain aspects and it would really be a humiliating experience especially since my book club peeps are extensive readers. I went over to one of their townhouses the other night and perused their book collection and was absurdly impressed. Sadly, if one were to check my library, which I stow under my bed mind you, one would find a bunch of old Us Weekly's and a regency romance my mother bought me for a dollar at our church's annual book fair. Therefore I knew I had to select a winner, but a winner in what? Entertainment value, stirring up thought provoking issues, taking one away to a fantasty land, getting lost in Thailand or Bangladore with no money to the character's name and so is sold into prostitution thus setting forth a race pulsing quest to find love? I was lost.

So I decided to go to the internets to pick something guud. A certain website, caught my eye with their list of The Top 50 Books Turned Movies We're Dying To See. As a lover of cinema I knew this is where I'd find my selection. And I did. But not before finding a little gem called, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. I'm going to spare you the reasons why I didn't pick the book for the book club but I will say I'm in love with this little novelette.

The story revolves around Nick and Norah, two high school seniors, who meet one night at a club quite randomly and how their relationship evolves throughout the evening. I know what you're thinking, Before Sunrise, anyone?, but no. Not even close. Each chapter is told alternately by Nick and Norah and it's fantastic because while they can't read what the other is thinking, the audience can. What I found most inspiring though, is that there are two authors, David Levithan and Rachel Cohn, Nick and Norah respectively, and whether intentional or not, their style of writing while not identical fits together harmoniously just like one assumes the two characters do.

But of course let's get real. I'm a girl, and it's a quasi love story and they mention pop culutre staples like My So-Called Life and musical acts like The Cure so yay!

Here's a synopsis for those assuming my description is paltry at best:

It all starts when Nick asks Norah to be his girlfriend for five minutes. He only needs five minutes to avoid his ex-girlfriend, who’s just walked in to his band’s show. With a new guy. And then, with one kiss, Nick and Norah are off on an adventure set against the backdrop of New York City—and smack in the middle of all the joy, anxiety, confusion, and excitement of a first date

side: They just wrapped production on the film starring Michael Cera as Nick and Kat Dennings as Norah.

Check it out.

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Monday Freebee

Since I've already uploaded the tune for my roomie I thought I'd also share it with my internets peeps. I give you Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova doing a cover of Van Morrison's Into the Mystic. No body does harmony like these two, well except for The Beach Boys. Enjoy!


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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Speaking of Remakes....

Here we go again. Another, and this time a classic television show, is getting the revamp. When I say it's classic. It is. But not for the baby boomers. Oh no. This show was classic to us, the kids of the 80's and 90's. In fact, I recall a time where I threw caution to the wind and screwed studying for finals because I needed to know....Will Donna Martin graduate?. Yep. 90210 is getting the rehaul on the CW. Now, had I not known the extra tidbit as to who's vision it is I would scream bloody murder. I mean Jen was watching a re-run on the Soap Network on Monday and it was perfectly preserved. However, I think this dude can make it better. Yes I said it. BETTER. Why? Because he brought us this:

"I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me...Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. Epic."

Ah hah. Mr. Rob Thomas himself. The mastermind behind the greatest television show ever, Veronica Mars. No exaggeration.I said EVER. Well except for part of the third season but I always felt that was more the CW pushing its Pussycat Doll aesthetic Regardless this is worth the risk in my opinion. Let's just hope Teddy Dunn, aka Duncan, is locked in a closet somewhere and can't audition. Thoughts?

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Worst Idea Possibly Ever

The Guardian is reporting that a remake is in the pipeline. Now the term "remake" isn't necessarily a bad term. As you well know I'm a pretty sizable fan of a certain television show remake. Come to think of it that 2005 Pride and Prejudice wasn't too shabby either. But of course for every Harrison Ford's Sabrina (which I thoroughly enjoyed) there is a Blonde Ambition, the Jessica Stinkson's version of Working Girl which incidentally also starred Harrison Ford..... so catch 22. (tee!)

This remake however could presumably blow the worst of the worst remakes out of the water. Yeah. Heavy. And I mean it. The movie in question is so iconic, so classic, and so still enjoyed by every new generation that reaches their teen angst years that it boggles the mind why Hollywood would even think this is a good idea. Granted, I know this is the same Hollywood who greenlit movies such as Cabin Boy and Ishtar but still. I'm insulted and disgusted. You should be too. That is of course if you knew to which awesome movie I'm referring to. To give you a little excitement in your day I'll reveal it after the jump.

Ladies and Gentlemen the movie in question is none other than....

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The Breakfast Club. And No. I'm not shite-ing you.

Apparently instead of high school kiddos it'll be twenty somethings stuck in O'Hare airport. Are you cringing yet? Oh it gets worse. The script written by Blue Crush screenwriter, Lizzy Weis will be directed by get this, a first time director who's previous credit is producing the reality show, Who Wants to Be the Next Pussy Cat Doll. The film is titled Bumped.

Let's hope this film gets "bumped" from the shooting schedule. Bahdump bump.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Holy Hell! The Chosen One in Texas!

Word on the street is that Brad, Angelina, and the kiddies, including their in utero child, aka, " The Second Coming" are in Austin Texas for a film shoot. Brad is replacing Heath Ledger in a Terrence Malick film co-starring Sean Penn called Tree of Life. You know what this means, right? Road Trip! Kidding. I wouldn't stoop that low. Ok I would but only if I were guaranteed to spot them which I'm not. It's fine, though. I don't know a celebrity who hasn't fallen in love with the city anyway. $20 bucks say they decide to purchase a home in the rolling hills. It'll be their rainy day villa. Just imagining them sitting at Hula Hut gives me chills.
I need to relocate.

Hook 'Em Shiloh. Hook 'Em.

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Oscar Night Roundup

What a night, what a night. The beautiful Marion! The effortless Daniel Day! The I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley although I find you unconventionally handsome Javier! The manish, why don't you wear any make-up don't you realize it's the Oscar's slash don't get me started on the garbage sac of a dress Tilda! The your dress slit is way too high but I forgive you because at one point in your life you were an exotic dancer so you probably don't know any better Diablo! And of course, my jump up and down moment, the melodic but still man! she's only 19 and your what? 42? so I don't believe your romantic relationship is age appropriate I don't care how mature she appears Glen and Marketa! I think for the first time ever I actually felt the Academy got it right all around. Well, almost. No Country for Old Men, the big winner, I could have done without. I was a Michael Clayton fan going in. I knew it had no chance of winning but I still dared to dream. The same dream I imagined the Crash peeps felt two years ago when they pulled an upset.

Either way, I was very satisfied.TWSS. Jon Stewart was funny in a non-I'm the star of the show kind of way, (Chris Rock I'm looking at YOU!). I think he gained some extra cool points when he let Marketa come back to finish her speech. Classy. Classy.

Now that the great parts are out of the way, let's talk negatively now, shall we? Where the EF! was Brad Renfro in the "In Memorium" montage? They had like 8 agents and studio execs up there but no Brad? That was wrong. And along the same lines of zero or little recognition, who decides who gets to sit in the front row? I noticed Forrest Whittaker and his wife was front and center while Marion Cotillard languished with a side view? Come to think of it, Daniel Day also had a sideish view too. Serious faux paux. Forrest, your year was last year, friendo. Same thing, Helen. May I remind you that currently your starring in National Treasure 2. In my opinion all lead actor and actresses should get front and center. It's only fair, right? And Jack, while you're a legend a.) Your future isn't that bright, your past was, so take off the shades and b.) Did you really drag your ass out to introduce a montage of past Oscar winning films? I thought you were more awesome than that.

Finally, who invited Gary Busey? Did you see how he accosted Jennifer Garner on the red carpet? That was some freaky sh&%. I thought he was playing a character on Entourage, but now...not so sure. Additional random invitees include, Seal and Heidi Klum, tax-evader Wesley Snipes, Spike Lee, and Mylie Cyrus. Mylie, honey, stop posting random pics of yourself taken with your iPhone on the internets. It's disturbing. Geez...where are all the real hollywood starlets when you need them. Oh yeah, rehab.

What about you? What did you like and not like? Comment below.

And here is the rest of it.

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Beatles' Reach is Far

I want this kid to play at my birthday his diapers

I bet John, Paul, George, and Ringo never imagined their music would literally transcend every age.

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Schmalentine's

On this day, the 14th of February many a girl is waiting anxiously for their floral arrangements, chocolates, and Zales Jewelry. I personally am waiting for lunch so that I can eat the perfect chocolate covered strawberry given to me by my mother. Yes, you read right, my mother. Listen, I'm not here to lie, folks. So what if my V-Day kisses came from my dog and my chocolates from my mom. It all comes from love anyway. So while for the most part people will focus on the romantic aspect of Valentines I choose to celebrate the other kinds of love. So hoorah to my friends, my family, and my dog. I love you all...Ok, some more than others but still. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

*Here's Some Free Songs to Get your "Loveable" Day Going:

1. Love Today: Mika
2. God Only Knows: Beach Boys
3. I've Got You Under My Skin: Frank Sinatra
4. Just Like Heaven: The Cure
5. I've Just Seen a Face: The Beatles

*Sidenote: I'm in the process of unlocking my songs from Itunes. As the arduous task completes I'll be able to upload many more songs from my library. Stay tuned. Literally.

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Thursday, January 31, 2008

15 Worst Lines in a Movie

I've said it all along and now finally someone agrees with me. EW has released their pick for the top 15 worst lines uttered in a movie. All of them are winners, or should I say "losers" but one of them in particular is literally the WORST EVER. Period, end of sentence. And I've always said it. It's bad not only in its delivery, but also in its randomness, its context in relation to the scene, and its sheer stupidity. Can you guess to which line I'm referring to of the 15? Baron, you should know it. So should you, Ashley. Here's a hint, it's not the Ever After phrase. I actually believe their EA pick paled in comparison to when Drew Barrymore breathed "I Shall Try" in one of the bazillion crappy scenes from that flick. Awful.

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Click on the image to get to the list

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I Feel Like a Failure and So Should You

Are you kidding me!

Yeah she's going to be real popular in high school

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I knew I wasn't the only one questioning the validity of the Oscar Nomination for "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. The New York Times picked up the story and after an investigation by The Academy the nomination stands.

Full article here: Once Again, a Legit Nominee

Now that that's cleared up who's anxiously awaiting their performance and subsequent win? Me! Me! Me!

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Flight to the Comcast

While anxiously awaiting the new season of Flight of the Conchords I stumbled across this video of Brett and Jermaine at a Comcast function. They sing "Business Time" but I was laughing more at their intro. Enjoy!

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

MGMT: TIme to Pretend

I can't take credit for finding this video, that goes to Pop Watch. But I can take credit for downloading these spunky teens about three weeks ago. I have no idea who the ef they are or why they look like African tribal men on the cover of their album. And I'm not even going to comment on the random chicks and their Blue Lagoon ensembles. That's just creepy. All I can really say is that the song weirdly displayed in this video is catchy and I play it on my Itouch often. I get a newer bolder and white Xris Xross-esque vibe with these two, you?

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Monday, January 28, 2008

Already a Winner

First promo shot from the movie Step Brothers starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. The story revolves around two men in their late 30's (Ferrell & Reilly) who have to learn to live like step brothers in one home when their respective single parents marry. Can't wait!

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Seth McFarlane's take on the WGA/AMPTP Negotiations

I know I haven't really posted anything on the strike recently but after that late Nov. meeting between the two parties that went absolutely nowhere I kinda gave up hope. Good news is that apparently the informal talks are going so well we may just get our writers back to work before the end of the season. Here's hoping. In the meantime I thought I'd share Seth McFarlane's take on the negotiations. For those who don't know who Seth is, he is the creator of the Family Guy, one of the funniest shows on television. I've got to say that this video is 10 kinds of funny with some expletives so be warned. And if you think you recognize one of the actors, you do. It's Josh Radnor from How I Met Your Mother. Enjoy!

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Doesn't Make Sense

So I spared everyone my Oscar nominations post because this years nominees weren't really that exciting in my opinion. And to tell you the truth I see very little surprises at the actual ceremony either (that is if we get an Oscar's telecast and not some lame Mary Hart unveiling) ; there is a lock in every category in my opinion. But that's neither here nor there. My only real WTF? moment came at the announcement of Original Score and Original Song. In the former category Jonny Greenwood, a Radiohead member, was excluded for his chilling score to There Will Be Blood, and then Golden Globe winner Eddie Vedder was shut out in both Original Score and Original Song for his soundtrack to Into The Wild. Wa? It didn't make sense to me. Apparently it didn't make sense to EW Pop Watch either who blogged about it until she actually looked up the Oscar rules:

scores cannot be "diluted by the use of tracked themes or other pre-existing music."

So basically because there are some material that isn't new the whole thing goes to Hell. That sucks, especially when you hear the score to There Will Be Blood. Even if it was only 2 minutes of original score, it's like nothing I've ever heard before.

And then this begs the question, how did "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova from Once get a nom if that song was on two previous albums, The Swell Season, and another Frames album before the movie was made? Don't get me wrong I salivate at the chance of seeing them perform that melody live come Oscar night but still. I don't get it. I remember discussing this very subject with my roomie. She asked if I thought a song from Once would get a nomination. I, assuming all songs must be original material for a film, said only the song, "Once" could qualify. Guess I was wrong.

Can someone explain this to me? Kthanks!

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

R.I.P. Heath Ledger

At first I figured I wouldn't post about his death because a.) It's depressing and b.) I don't have much to say on the subject. But I guess in the end I realized even if I didn't have anything to say I should at least respect the talent we lost. Man. Too young, too soon. My condolences to the family, especially his daughter, Matilda.

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This One's for You X-Woman

"Anyone Else But You" by The Moldy Peaches from the Juno Soundtrack

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Friday, January 18, 2008

The Opposite of the Opposite of Possible is Still Possible

I've been meaning to post this video for quite some time but in the holiday splendor I forgot. Two days ago Ellen Page, Jennifer Garner, and Diablo Cody from Juno were on Oprah and the whole time I kept asking, where's Michael Cera? Yeah he practically wears the same outfit through out the whole movie but his performance was quality. And he was in another little comedy called Superbad too. See that one Oprah? In any event, to honor the man boy I bring you one of his greatest performances to date. Now before you see it you need to understand what he's talking about. So I recommend you start with this video first.

Now note. This video is real. He actually created this video as his personal resume and sent it to various companies in NYC.

And now to Michael's spoof:

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Best Use of a Song in an Opening Credit Sequence

While I was walking Fitz this afternoon, my Ipod Touch sang a classic 80's song to me. Honestly, every time I hear it I automatically picture the opening credits to one of the most mind-effing movies of all time. When I got home I did a little youtube search and found the sequence. After watching it a couple of times now I've decided that there is NO better use of a song in the *opening minutes of a movie ever. Not only that, but I believe it's also one of the greatest movie sequences ever. It's just so sinisterly awesome. Do you agree?

Movie: Donnie Darko
Song: "Head over Heels" by Tears for Fears

* I must note that it technically isn't the opening minutes of the movie, but it is the first time we see the secondary characters

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

This Kid Really Likes His Glasses

From the desk of Jonathan Patrick

Alas, my writers' guild-starved television viewers! I have found yet another masterful piece of reality TV! This one is from the original reality tv: the news. It's an interview of some teenaged, frat-star-to-be after throwing a party in the land of down under:


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Friday, January 11, 2008

Arcade Fire on Fire

Rebellion (Lies) by Arcade Fire has to be one of my favorite songs of all-time. Like all-time. And on their second album, Neon Bible, they've added yet another track that in my opinion might climb up the ranks to become all-time. No, it's not No Cars Go, but rather, Keep the Car Running. Very reminiscent of Bruce for sure, but still brilliant. Check out their performance on the Jonathan Ross show. If they haven't converted you yet, this spectacle will. For your viewing pleasure, Arcade Fire:

Bonus: For the one person that doesn't own my favorite, here's Rebellion (Lies). Revel in it's marvelousness.

Rebellion (Lies)

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Monday, January 7, 2008

Reviewed and/or Abused: Atonement

My last free day of vacation my mother, sister, and I decided to see a movie of light fare that would allow us to begin the upcoming work and school week in hope and happiness. So we saw Atonement, one of the most effing confusing and depressing films of the holiday season. Yeah I know this film was not marketed nor conceived as a family oriented fun times flick but man, did they have to take my already fragile heart and pierce it ruthlessly with a solitary tear shed by James McAvoy? More Review After the Jump!

Don't get me wrong, the movie is great in certain respects, i.e. the acting is superb, the score impeccable going so far as to include the sound of typewriting in its melody, and the story itself is fantastic. How could it not be though, right? The book, written by Ian McEwan is heralded as one of the 100 greatest books of all time by Time Magazine. Plus there was this four minute sequence shot with one frame that puts you in the middle of the Dunkirk Evacuation that was powerful. Joe Wright, who also directed Pride and Prejudice, has a wonderful knack of making the audience feel as if they are right in the thick of it which is the mark of a brilliant director, no?

However there is something in my mind that stops this movie from becoming a future DVD of my collection. And that stoppage is the characterization of Briony Tallis. First I must preface that I've never read the book therefore I must tread lightly here, but from what I have understood from researching the story, the main character, Briony, starts off as this little 13 year old girl who witnesses something she doesn't understand and therefore makes a huge error, and in consequence ruins the lives of the two lovers played by Keira Knightly and James McAvoy. Now the title of the movie leads one to believe that the rest of her life is spent attempting to atone for the fatal mistake she made long ago. And in fact certain decisions of hers would lend itself to this theory, yet I didn't feel that she atoned or wanted too. I left the theatre wondering if she really understood what she did and whether she explored the real motivations for inventing the atrocious farce in the first place. So in essence something that was supposed to be the bread and butter of the movie, i.e. her wising up to her actions just wasn't there for me. Granted the story unfolds in a very convoluted way with a quasi shocking ending (if you haven't read the book of course) which could exacerbate my misunderstanding of Briony's real emotion throughout the film but still. If I have to go to message boards and wikipedia to figure it out then it wasn't really convincing was it?

Perhaps, though, that's the point. The lines of reality and fiction are blurred to us just as it was in Broiny's head. Therefore what one thinks is a romantic drama is in essence a morality tale showcasing the dangers of mixing fact with fiction. Either way the movie destroyed me. Mostly because James McAvoy's interpretation of a tortured soul is out of this world. Also because he had the one sole tear sliding down the face moment. Those kill me.

So go see it if you want to further discuss it with me, but trust when I say my mother and sister left saying, wha?

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Ladies and Gentleman I Present to You....

For those of you that don't know I received an enormous surprise on Dec. 19th. The kind of surprise that makes you shriek and squeal and tinkle just a little in your pants. It was the early Christmas present from my parents and boy was it a doozy. I frankly never thought in my wildest dreams my parents would actually agree to buy me this wonderful treat but color me happy when they did. So without further adieu I present to you.....

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, aka "Fitz"

Is he a handful? Absofruitly! Did I want to return him out of sheer panic 30 minutes after I got him, and then every hour on the hour for the next 24 hours? Of Course! But I stuck with it and now he is curled up on my lap as I type this post. He still has a long way to go before he reaches obedience perfection but I will say he's a keeper.

More pictures of Fitz after ther jump!

*Thanks Paige for the pics!

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Sunday, January 6, 2008


From the desk of Jonathan Patrick, Internet Provocateur

A lot has been made on this blog about the Writers' Guild and their strike and its effect on television. I am here to show the silver lining of it all. For me, the glass is half-full. With the writers on strike, that means the most anticipated show in the history of TV: American Gladiators.

It kicks off anew today at 9pm EST with a two hour premiere and then will continue on Mondays. Before I show some clips for the new show, it's only fitting that I pay homage to the original American Gladiator show.

One of my favorite scenes:

Looks like the new show will be keeping most of the old events. One of which is the Assault. This is the one where the gladiator tries to hit the contestant with a tennis-ball gun while the contestant tries to hit a target above the gladiator with various guns/toys. In the old show, if you hit the target, smoke would shoot up over the gladiator. The new show does this too. In addition, it launches the gladiator 50 feet through the air into a pool.

Please enjoy:


In the words of everybody's favorite child of Mother Nature, the cosmic ray gathering Malibu, "Sweet!"

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